Filed under: Entertainment, Random | Tags: Berlin, Entertainment, Men In Black, Personal, Random
The young guy with the balaclava in his hand seemed somewhat surprised to see me. Then again he should have been because it was my house and my basement.
I know I was certainly feeling the pangs of surprise and the moment that hung between us, seemed like an eternity.
Him with his black gloves and screwdriver and me with a cardboard box full of nothingness tucked under one arm.
Common sense tells you to run, the “fight or flight” syndrome was fully in flight mode and I just needed to release the brake as the engine within was screaming for me to get out of the basement and back up the stairs.
Instead my phone rang. The man in black didn’t move and right then I did what I know I probably shouldn’t have done.
I answered it.
“Yeah?”
It was my agent. The day was turning into a bag full of surprises.
“Paul let’s have a coffee on Friday….” he paused and I listened to him suck deep on a cigarette.. “….at my office”
“Sure..” I shrugged my shoulders and wanted to add I knew a great new coffee house by the river but my thoughts were quickly shot down.
“……the coffee is free here”
At least he was honest.
The man in black was still frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. I wasn’t sure who was more nervous, me or him… but he had the screwdriver so it wasn’t up for discussion.
“We have to talk about your writing Paul..”
He wasn’t giving up despite my lack of input in this little conversation.
“What about it?”
“You are not doing enough…”
I listened again as he sucked on a cigarette and I could already see the coffee cups lined up on his desk. I had been leaving messages for weeks and this was the moment he chose to call back. Having my agent on the phone is kind of like scraping your fingernails across a blackboard, it doesn’t really hurt but sure as hell makes you cringe. I coughed in surprise.
“Not enough?” I shuffled my feet and heard his fist pound the desk.
“You haven’t written on your blog in four weeks!”
He had a point. I hadn’t. But that was the least of my worries right now. Was it my imagination or had the man in black moved a couple of inches?
But come on let’s be fair here. I mean I have been writing publicly for seven months and the blog was a great kick start but after working through three script re-writes for films in production I was now knee deep in my first full on film script and the Berlin film festival was a matter of hours away. Plus the possibility of my first book was so close I could almost taste it.
The man in black was definitely moving, slowly, but he was moving all the same. Somewhere in the distance one of my neighbours started playing Barry Manilow loudly and the strains of “Copacabana” drifted down to us. This was starting to feel like a Fellini movie.
But I wasn’t done. It is nice to be writing eighteen hours a day in the hope of going somewhere but I still had a job to maintain, a company to run, people to see, places to go. And let’s not forget the writers group, meeting once a week. I haven’t had a day off from writing for months.. not that I was asking for one either.
I would say I was pretty much “written up”.
“Paul?”
I was so busy thinking I had forgotten my agent wasn’t telepathic.
“ok” I said breathing out slowly.
“Ok? What does..”
Click.
I hung up.
Slowly placing the box on the floor, I looked the guy directly in the eyes.
“I’m gonna go… I need to go write my blog and…. maybe you can let yourself out”
He looked confused now.
I backed up slowly, retraced my way to the top of the stairs and closed the basement door behind me. This was turning into a strange day.
Time for a new blog entry, just excuse me for a minute I think the police are arriving.
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I love how you thought the “young guy” with the black gloves/screwdriver combo was an actual dude…I guess my “stalker-disguises” are getting a lot better, hahaha (please interpret that laugh as having a sinister tone)
So listen, after reading this it seems very clear that you’re achieving some magnificent things out there in the world.
Your success is very inspiring to other writers, and on a more personal “groupie level” (LOL), I’m proud of you!
Comment by romi41 7 February 2008 @ 5:56 amIf your going to break in to a house why would someone carry a balaclava rather then wear it?
Comment by Rob 7 February 2008 @ 10:33 amObviously when he has been watching Crime Thrillers he has only ever caught the end of the movie when the thief is out of the house.
Good luck with the coffee.
I loved the tension, and the two stories intermingling. It also reminds me of the noir genre when a woman mysteriously appears at the grouchy detectives office, cloak and dagger. Most of all it was funny and it worked. Veronica
Comment by veronicaromm 7 February 2008 @ 7:31 pmAt least he was a proper house burglar - he had a screwdriver and a balaclava. The ASMF that stole my computer only had a spark plug tied to the end of a string and a pair of gloves, so he was only a car burglar with aspirations to be a house burglar.
Comment by leafprobably 8 February 2008 @ 12:31 amGlad you’re back, and busy, not so glad you encountered the balaclava burglar.
Comment by Alyson 8 February 2008 @ 1:21 amAT THE COPA!!! COPA CABANA!!! MUSIC AND PASSION ARE ALWAYS IN FASHION AT THE COPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Come on, you know I only do the useless comments, right?
Glad you’re back!
Comment by greenmetropolis 8 February 2008 @ 6:29 pm…and let’s not forget the writer’s group?
Wow, we made it onto the list? And before “getting to know the reigning Miss World”? I’m flattered.
Comment by DrJ 9 February 2008 @ 1:50 amGood story.
Comment by paulmct 11 February 2008 @ 1:27 amHey Romi.. or is it Roomi? You are always welcome to be a groupie… then again you always were.
Rob - you are absolutely right. But I imagine he caught the bus to my place and perhaps wearing a balaclava on the bus might have drawn some unwanted attention.
Vernonica - you are the best.. thanks for stopping by.
Hey Shannon - Only a sparkplug? I can only hope he didn’t take it from his getaway car.
Alyson!!! Yes I’m back with just enough ink left for my blog….
Greenie! I always had you marked as a Barry Manilow fan.. you put on this big bravado with rock music and then slip home to a little Barry.
Dr J… Yeah Club 21 just made it onto the list ahead of Miss World. Hmm… perhaps it is about time I put our lot into the mix here.
Paul - Thanks for stopping by. Appreciate the feedback.
Comment by Paul B. 11 February 2008 @ 8:46 am“Romi” or “Roomi” (or “Roomba”?)??…I’m not even sure which it is anymore…maybe I should just change my name to “Roomi”, to avoid future any confusion.
Oh and THIS JUST IN: my groupie-devotion for you has fallen off to the “bottom of the barrel” type depths; it is now on par with my adulation for David Hasselhoff; tell him I say “hi”…
PS: Did your blog-header just spring to life in a 3-D kind of way? Or is it just that I need to stop drinking heavily before 6pm? Well either way I love it, it’s very pleasing to the eye
Comment by romi41 12 February 2008 @ 12:55 amHas the day really arrived when I have absolutely no witty, lewd, provocative wisecrack chock-full of double entendre in response to your blog? Hell has frozen over!!
The only thing that comes to mind is: “what could you possibly have in your basement that would be of interest to another grown man?” Let’s hope all your bloggers are not fans of Pulp Fiction.
Nah, it’s not gone…all I have to do is read Walnuts and Pumpkins again and it’ll come back
I think we all missed you!
Comment by kelly 12 February 2008 @ 1:08 amLovely to see you writing again. I see you met my goon… Don’t make me send him again!!!
Comment by joebecca 12 February 2008 @ 5:25 amLove the new look…
Comment by cowgalutah 15 February 2008 @ 10:43 pmJust don’t laugh at this but I have a sweet tooth and read “balaclava” as baklava. Oh wait you can laugh, cause that was just dumb of me. It may just be possible that I have forgot how to read, but I won’t lay any blame here…cause with a post like this I can see you already know.
Mmmmm. Baklava with honey and pistachios, yummy!
Geeze Paul, why couldn’t you have just said “beanie” and avoid all confusion!
Comment by kelly 16 February 2008 @ 12:36 pmRoomba? I like Roomba.. that has a great ring to it.. and cut back on the alcohol before you visit my page in future please…
Kelly you are very sweet many thanks… I was flying under the radar for a while but got my breath back again. .. just
Joe as for your goon… you might want to give him the heads up on how to wear a balaclava in future with the purpose being to avoid attention..
Cow gal!!!!!!!! Baklava? What the heck is that?
And Kelly… there is a world of difference of between balaclava and beanie… go wash your highlights out.
Comment by Paul B. 17 February 2008 @ 9:46 pm